


First Time's the Charm

by Fireborn, mousapelli



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: (sort of), 5+1 Things, Confessions, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, M/M, Making Out, Post-Canon, Sharing a Bed, Smut, some grinding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:20:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27261886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fireborn/pseuds/Fireborn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mousapelli/pseuds/mousapelli
Summary: “Firsts?” Kairi raised an eyebrow.“Yeah, you know!” Sora exclaimed. Even just thinking about it was making Sora’s heart skip a little. “Like first kisses, or a first date. Ooh, or holding hands the first time! Every time I’m near Riku now my heart starts thumping like ‘is it gonna happen yet?!’”“Are you serious?” Kairi asked, squinting at Sora. “Sora, you’ve held Riku’s hand like a bazillion times. You used to drag him everywhere!”“That doesn’t count!” Sora protested. Doubt flickered in his chest. “Does that count?”“In fact, you’ve done all those things before,” Kairi said, folding her arms and leaning over the table towards Sora. Her expression was knowing, and Sora suddenly had a bad feeling about this conversation.(or: 5 times Sora and Riku didn't have a first together, and one time they did.)
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 70
Kudos: 263





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Back at the beginning of September, mousapelli came into my (Fireborn's) DM's with "you know what would be really funny is like riku and sora first times but all their first times were like six billion years ago". And then we came up with 5 first times Sora and Riku already had way before they got together, and that literally the only thing they wouldn’t have done yet was (you guessed it) sex. And then I said "I wanna write this now" and she said "we could write it together", and somehow it turned into a fic of almost 20k words, oops.
> 
> We hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as we enjoyed writing it!

There was something different about the Mysterious Tower in the very early morning. The hum of magic felt a little quieter against Sora’s skin, maybe, or maybe the light was a little more golden. It felt like a secret only he and Riku knew about, since they were the only two awake, hugging goodbye out on the lawn before Riku left for an early mission to Radiant Garden. Every detail of it felt more vivid than usual to Sora: the damp grass under his bare feet, the softness of Riku’s shirt against his cheek, the smell of Sora’s coconut body wash, the warmth of Riku’s breath where his nose was buried in Sora’s hair. 

It was perfect. Sora closed his eyes and tried to memorize the feeling of Riku hugging him so tightly that he was breathless from it. Riku would be gone for days, so he’d have to remember the feeling for himself. 

“I’ll call you tonight,” Riku said. A fleeting touch brushed Sora’s forehead, too fast for him to tell if it had been Riku’s lips or not, and then Riku was pushing Sora gently back by the shoulders. “I’ll keep my Gummiphone on Tower time so I don’t mess it up again.”

“Good luck with that,” Sora replied, shaking his head. The only place with a worse connection to relative time than the Tower was Twilight Town; whenever Roxas sent a text or picture, it always seemed to arrive in the dead of night. “Stay safe. Don’t spar with Tifa.”

“How dumb do I look?” Riku asked, one hand on his hip. He rolled his eyes when Sora laughed. “Don’t answer that. Okay, I have to go.” Riku uncurled Sora’s hands from his shirt and squeezed them gently. “Have a good day with Kairi.”

“Safe flight,” Sora said, struggling to keep the pout off his face as Riku stepped away and took his warmth with him. Yawning and scratching his chest, Sora watched Riku climb in the Gummi ship, then waved to him until the ship was out of sight, blinking into warp like a star flickering. 

It seemed like too much trouble to go back up all the stairs to their room, Sora thought as he shuffled across the grass and back inside the Tower, even if it would be nice to crawl back into bed. He could go back to sleep or...something else. Sharing a room with Riku was fun, like a permanent sleepover, but there wasn’t exactly a lot of alone time. Sora had already been taking semi-regular morning showers since they’d moved in together for normal teenage reasons. After last night’s confession, a whole new set of possibilities had opened up to Sora’s already vivid imagination...Riku curled up in bed, half-awake and mussed, how good he smelled, how nice it felt being pressed tightly against him…

Something bumped into Sora from behind, startling him out of his thoughts. When he looked over his shoulder, two brooms were bristling at him impatiently for blocking the stairs. 

“Oops, sorry!” Sora said. He shuffled to the side so the brooms could sweep past, hoping it hadn’t been too obvious what he’d been daydreaming about. Riku always said that Sora attributed far too much personality to the brooms, but Sora was sure they talked about him and Riku sometimes. Or rustled about them. Whatever brooms did. 

Sora heaved a sigh, eyes traveling up the staircase; even if he weren’t worried about eavesdropping brooms, there were definitely too many stairs for this early in the morning. Abandoning fantasies of going back to bed, he headed for the kitchen instead, the only room in the Tower sensibly located on the ground floor. 

He was halfway through his bowl of cereal when Kairi stumbled into the kitchen in her practice sweats, hair sticking out in every direction. 

“G’morning!” Sora chirped through his full mouth. “Coffee’s almost done.”

Kairi squinted at him, and then at the coffee maker as if puzzled by its dripping. “You’re up early.”

“Riku had to leave already,” Sora explained as Kairi opened several cabinets in search of a mug. The first cabinet was full of canned vegetables, the second all jars of candy, and the third inexplicably was full of tropical orchids. A tiny tree frog gave an affronted _cheeeeep_ until Kairi shut the door again. 

Taking pity on her, Sora snapped his fingers. A lime green mug appeared out of thin air, reading “Teablade Master” in coral pink. Another cabinet on the other side of the kitchen sprang open and a teapot floated out, bobbling towards Kairi’s mug like a homing pigeon. 

“It’s really nice early in the mornings here,” Sora said, watching Kairi try to fend off the overzealous teapot. Kairi raised an eyebrow at him. “The magic feels different, like quieter, instead of how it buzzes in my molars sometimes. And the light’s prettier too, don’t you think?”

Kairi shot a dubious look out the star-shaped windows over the sink. “Sora, there is literally no time here. It’s exactly the same as always.”

“No, it’s different! It’s…” Sora stuck another spoonful of cereal in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. “Pinker.”

“It is not— Oh, would you get out of here!” Kairi snapped at the teapot, waving it off. “This is coffee time! Shoo!” The teapot flapped its lid at her on its way back to the cabinet and Kairi stuck her tongue out back at it. “Honestly, what is it with wizards and pushy teapots? And since when did you become such a morning person?”

“I don’t know.” Sora shrugged. He tried to look casual, but the smile kept creeping back onto his face, even when he bit his lip. “I’m just happy, I guess.”

“Did something happen?” Kairi filled her mug with coffee without any further interference and sat down across from Sora. Sora made his most innocent face. “I know that face, something _did_ happen. Spill it.”

“Riku said he likes me,” Sora said, the words spilling out in a rush. Kairi blinked in surprise, and Sora suddenly wondered if he should be telling Kairi without Riku here? He should have asked before Riku left, but it was just Kairi so it was probably fine. More shyly, he added, “And I like him too, so we’re...you know.”

“Together? Really?” Kairi said, suddenly looking much more awake. Sora nodded. “Finally! Who broke down first?” 

“Him,” Sora answered, butterflies fluttering in his chest remembering it. “We were reading next to each other, and he kept catching me looking at him. And then he just said it! And then when I said I liked him too, he got all flustered, and I couldn’t stop laughing because he had his hair in that silly, tiny ponytail, sticking straight up, and...” Realizing Kairi was staring at him, unable to get a word in edgewise, Sora dropped his gaze to the table, feeling silly. “Sorry, I got carried away.”

Kairi just laughed. “Oh, go on, tell me more, I know you’re dying to.” 

“We were supposed to sleep early, but we ended up talking for ages in bed together...he smells so _good_ ,” Sora blurted, making Kairi chuckle into her coffee. Words poured out of him like letting go of the end of an overfilled balloon, only instead of air, Sora’s chest was full of gooey feelings. “When he hugs me, he squishes me super strong, and do you know when he puts his hands on my waist they go almost the whole way around? And he makes all these tiny faces I never noticed before, like…” Sora imitated a series of them, scrunching his nose, then squinting, then pressed his lips together like a squiggly line.

The last one made Kairi splutter a laugh. “How can there be anything about Riku you’ve never noticed? You spent fifteen years being together every waking moment plus sleepovers, yelling ‘look at me, look at me’ at each other.”

“It’s different,” Sora insisted imperiously. “Dating is like starting all over!” His face slid back into a dreamy smile almost immediately, stirring the last few spoonfuls of his cereal restlessly. “You know, when we used to watch those romantic dramas after school I didn’t really get what the big deal was, but I get it now. Even though we’ve been best friends forever, it’s like everything is new all over again. And Riku’s never dated anyone else either, so we get to do all our firsts together!”

“Firsts?” Kairi raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you know!” Sora exclaimed. Even just thinking about it was making his heart skip a little. “Like first kisses, or a first date. Ooh, or holding hands the first time! Every time I’m near Riku now my heart starts thumping like ‘is it gonna happen yet?!’”

“Are you serious?” Kairi asked, squinting at Sora. “Sora, you’ve held Riku’s hand like a bazillion times. You used to drag him everywhere!”

“That doesn’t count!” Sora protested. Doubt flickered in his chest. “Does that count?”

“In fact, you’ve done all those things before,” Kairi said, folding her arms and leaning over the table towards Sora. Her expression was knowing, and Sora suddenly had a bad feeling about this conversation. “Holding hands, seriously. Wakka married you on the playground in kindergarten!”

Sora’s eyes widened. “He did not! Stop teasing!” Kairi stared back, expression firm. Sora shook his head, as if that would rattle the memory loose, but nothing came up. Would he really forget something like that? Meekly, Sora asked, “Really?”

“It’s how you got Riku’s favorite marble,” Kairi said, mildly exasperated. Her exasperation melted into resignation at Sora’s confused frown. “Why did you think you had that?”

“I won it?” Sora asked, but now that he was thinking about it, he couldn’t remember that actually happening. And what did marbles have to do with getting married anyway?

“As if you ever beat Riku at marbles,” Kairi chuckled. “Selphie’s cousin got married and Selphie was the flower girl, and after that for like two weeks she only wanted to play wedding instead of house. She made Wakka do the ceremony, since he was oldest, and I was the Maid of Honor. Everybody else was a guest and had to bring her a present. She said Riku had to be the husband and give her this huge mood ring she got from her mom.”

“Uh-oh,” Sora laughed. There was no way the kindergarten version of either himself or Riku would have taken that very well.

“Uh-oh is right,” Kairi agreed. “You cried and had a tantrum because you thought Riku would start sleeping over with Selphie instead of you, and then Riku started yelling too. Selphie said Riku had to marry her because he’d already given her the ring, but Riku said he’d just give you something else instead, and the only thing in his pocket was his favorite marble.”

“That’s why he gave it to me?” Sora asked, still drawing a blank. The marble he did remember, though: it was bigger than any of Sora’s marbles, clear with a yellow and blue cats-eye swirl, Riku’s favorite colors, and it always seemed to shoot lucky when they played. Sora had used it loyally, every game, until they’d gotten too old for marbles. It was almost certainly still in his desk back on Destiny Islands. “What happened then?”

“Selphie was sooo mad.” Kairi grinned, remembering. “She said you were doing it wrong, that boys couldn’t get married and nobody could get married with a marble. Wakka said he was in charge and he’d marry whoever he wanted to marry, just to make Selphie even madder, and then pronounced you husband and husband. Selphie didn’t speak to any of us for like a week.”

“I’m really mad I can’t remember this,” Sora said, laughing. His unfinished cereal was totally soggy now, so he pushed the bowl away. He eyed Kairi skeptically. “Say you swear you aren’t making this up.”

“Cross my heart,” Kairi promised, drawing an X on her chest with her finger. “Ask Riku how you got his marble and see what he says.”

“There’s no way Mr. Teenage Hugging Crisis remembers this,” Sora said with confidence. 

He could still see Riku’s face when he’d confessed his secret, scared and resigned, as if he was already sure Sora would turn him down. They’d talked after about how long he’d felt like that, and it had become clear to Sora that Riku had forgotten a lot about how much more open Sora had been with his affections when they were very small. 

If Riku had remembered anything about a playground marriage proposal, Sora was sure he would have brought it up last night. “He’s gonna say I beat him at marbles.”

Kairi laughed in his face. “Riku will never, ever say that.”

  
  


*****

  
  


“You have never, ever beaten me at marbles,” Riku said flatly. 

“Have too,” Sora said, just to be petulant. “I think you just forgot about it. The way you forgot about us _getting married_.”

Sora was sprawled on his bed on his stomach amidst a pile of pillows (he may or may not have taken the pillows and the blanket from Riku’s bed because they smelled infinitely nicer than his own, though the smell made him miss Riku even _more_ ). His chin rested in the palms of his hands and his feet were kicking idly up into the air. He’d build a wobbly stack of books on the foot of the bed to prop his phone up against. On the screen, Riku was seated against the headboard of his bed in Radiant Garden Castle with his phone balanced against his drawn-up knees for their video call. 

Riku did that thing with the squiggly lips that Sora had shown Kairi this morning. He was pleased to see he’d gotten the expression dead-on. “I’m not sure it counts as getting married if there was no official ceremony master present.”

Privately, Sora agreed. Still, because he was still feeling a little contrary about the fact that he apparently had never beat Riku at marbles, he said, “Don’t let Selphie hear you say that. The way Kairi told it, she’d only barely forgiven us for ruining her wedding by the time we left the islands.”

Riku made a sound like a disbelieving hum. “Are you _sure_ Kairi wasn’t just making this up to mess with you?”

“She sounded sincere? And since we both forgot how I got the marble…” Sora trailed off. After everything, forgotten memories were a little bit of a sore spot. On the phone screen, Riku’s frown disappeared, face smoothing into soft lines.

“Sora,” Riku said, in that special tone of voice that only _Riku_ used to say his name. Just like that, Sora’s thoughts of forgotten memories dissipated, and the butterflies returned. “I’m sure there will be other firsts we can have. And I’m not sure this one even _counts_.”

Sora let the air out of his lungs in an audible whoosh, kicking his feet together a few times to get rid of some of the excess energy in his body. His lips formed a pout. “I can’t believe we got married and forgot about it.”

Riku huffed. “Do you still have the marble?”

“Of course I do!” Sora beamed. “Next time we go back to Destiny Islands, I’ll show you. We should probably go back for a visit soon anyway. I haven’t even told my mom yet we’re _dating_ now. She’ll be so surprised.”

“Yeah,” Riku said, rubbing a hand over his eyes. Sora could see him trying to suppress a yawn and failing.

“What time is it for you?” Sora asked, suddenly realizing he’d forgotten all about the weird interworld time zones again.

“It’s fine,” Riku replied. 

Sora squinted because that wasn’t an answer. But before he could start to berate Riku for staying up—or getting up? Riku was looking very sleepy now Sora looked closer—past midnight, Riku smiled, and Sora forgot about telling him off to admire the sparkle in his eyes instead.

“Like I said,” Riku continued to evade the question. “So maybe we held hands and apparently got married before, but I’m sure there are lots of first things we haven’t done before.”

Sora relaxed a little. On the one hand, he still had the lingering bad feeling from Kairi’s assured exclamation that he and Riku had had all of their firsts already. On the other hand, he wanted to believe with his endless optimism that there _had_ to be things he hadn’t yet done with Riku before. Riku was always right.

“Yes,” Sora said, confidently. “You’re right.” Then, after a pause. “Like what?”

“Hm,” Riku was silent for a moment, his eyes shifting to the right to indicate he was thinking and remembering.

Sora’s thoughts drifted as well. He could admit that he and Riku would not get to hold hands for the first time anymore, and they’d also hugged and touched countless times as kids. But people who became boyfriends did more than hold hands and hug… 

…They _kissed_. 

But while they had talked half the night and fallen asleep curled up together, neither Sora nor Riku had worked up the courage for a kiss yet.

The idea of kissing Riku had been at the back—okay, the front—of Sora’s mind almost continuously for the entire day, though; and if he was honest, a little bit longer than that as well. 

Just the _thought_ of it made Sora feel warm, like there was a little Fire spell gently burning away in his chest. Riku was good at _everything_ , so Sora was pretty sure Riku would be really good at kissing despite never having kissed anyone before—Sora _hoped_ , at least, that Riku had never kissed anyone before… Should he ask? Would it be weird to ask? Still, if Riku had ever kissed anyone, as Riku’s best friend, Sora would know…right? 

Sora realized he was pressing his hands against his jaw almost painfully, and he whistled a low exhale through his teeth. The thought of Riku kissing someone else wasn’t a nice thought.

And all of this thinking was making his head hurt. He should just say what he was thinking. Probably. Maybe.

He coughed.

Riku looked back into the camera. “What are you thinking about?”

Sora took a deep breath and blurted out, “Have you ever kissed anyone else?” before he could lose his nerve.

On the phone screen, Riku flushed. His voice was strained when he cast his eyes down and answered with a low, “No…”

That answer cheered Sora up infinitely. “Neither have I! So we can have a real first kiss together! Kairi was wrong!”

But Riku’s reaction wasn’t what Sora had expected. His eyes widened but apart from a tiny “oh” sound, he didn’t say anything. The silence was very telling, and Sora’s heart sank.

Had they had their first kiss already, too? Naminé wouldn’t lose an important memory like that, would she?

“You don’t remember?” Riku asked quietly. Sora couldn’t tell if Riku was nervous or if he was trying to be delicate about the subject of Sora’s memories. “In the secret place...”

Suddenly Sora _did_ remember. How could he have forgotten? They’d been in the cave, sitting shoulder to shoulder. Sora must have been...around eleven years old? He’d been doodling on the sand-covered floor with a stick. A little dog, a paopu fruit, the waves of the ocean.

They’d been talking about school and Riku’s Blitzball training and Sora’s surfing club. Then the conversation drifted to two kids in the class above Riku, a boy whose name Sora had now forgotten who asked a girl to be his _girlfriend_ and how they were caught kissing behind the bleachers next to the Blitzball pool yesterday after school.

“Why do people kiss on the mouth like that, anyway,” Sora said. “It looks weird, and I can’t imagine it would feel nice. It’s stupid.”

“Yes,” Riku agreed too quickly. “Very stupid.”

A silence stretched between them longer than Sora could ever remember being between them. It wasn’t a particularly comfortable silence, either.

When Riku spoke up next, his voice was a little strangled. “We could try it.”

Sora stopped drawing the—admittedly rather good—pair of seagulls on the cave floor. His mouth fell open a little.

“Just to see what the fuss is about.”

“You wanna try…kissing?”

“Or not,” Riku said quickly. “It’s probably stupid and gross and—”

“Okay,” Sora cut him off, because he was a little bit curious too, and kissing with Riku didn’t at all sound like something he’d be unwilling to try.

“O…kay?” Riku repeated, staring at Sora’s sand-drawings. He kicked sand over the paopu fruit for no reason that Sora could see.

“Stop messing up my drawings,” he said. Riku stopped and sat very still.

On the bed in the Tower, Sora remembered the rest of it: leaning into Riku’s space, Riku turning to face him, and then— 

“We already had our first kiss...” Sora suddenly felt like someone had stolen all of his candy _and_ his Christmas presents.

The idea that he wouldn’t get _any_ firsts with Riku was really disheartening. He’d been looking forward to all of these firsts, and now it turned out he might not get to have _any_ of them, and that was the most unfair thing Sora had ever experienced. After getting his memories stolen from him, maybe. Or the ‘fading away into a different dimension to save Kairi’ thing. Okay, so this was definitely in the top three of the most unfair things.

“Hmm…” Riku uttered from a dozen worlds away.

“But that doesn’t count either!” Sora tried to convince both himself and Riku. “We just did it to see what the fuss was about, and it was _wet_ and _stupid_ and it hurt when you knocked your teeth into mine. And I got spit all over my lips, and we agreed it was really gross.”

“Hmmm,” Riku said again, and Sora finally stopped talking to _look_ at Riku. His cheeks were pink, so pink it was obvious even in the dim midnight light of the room. When he realized Sora had fallen silent, he bowed his head so his hair fell across his eyes.

“Oh my god,” Sora exclaimed, equal parts elated and flustered himself. “You _didn’t_ think it was gross!”

“Maybe not completely…” Riku said, so faintly Sora barely caught it.

“But you said!” Sora tried to think back to the moment. “I remember I said it was gross, and you said you agreed and that you had no idea why grown-ups did that! You liar!” 

But Sora’s excitement that Riku had _liked_ it was definitely winning over his own embarrassment now. When it became clear Riku wasn’t going to say anything else, Sora broke into a massive smile.

“It’s okay, Riku. I may have thought kissing was stupid when I was eleven. But I definitely don’t think that anymore. I’ve been thinking about kissing you for—” he caught himself just in time.

When Riku lifted his head to meet Sora’s eyes again, they were dark and a little unfocused. Riku tilted his head. “Yes?”

Sora let out a sound between a whine and a growl and buried his face in the blanket underneath him. Forget about the elation, there was only embarrassment now. Whatever Riku thought, they hadn’t kissed properly yet since becoming boyfriends, they hadn’t even _talked_ about it, and now Sora and his stupid mouth had brought up the subject.

But Riku wasn’t even _here_ to have this conversation face-to-face or _actually really kiss for real this time_ , ughhh, Sora’s life was so difficult— 

“Sora.”

And he still didn’t know if Riku wanted to kiss him _too_ , although most signs probably pointed to yes, only what if—

“Sora!”

“What?” he all but snapped, having been quite rudely called back from wallowing in his self-pity.

“I wanna kiss you, too,” Riku said so quickly it took Sora a second to untangle the rush of words.

“You do?” Sora asked brightly.

“I do,” Riku confirmed. He swallowed visibly. “A lot.”

“I wanna kiss you a lot, too,” Sora blurted out, and then he buried his face back in the blankets because his cheeks were so warm it felt uncomfortable. Feeling so flustered all the time appeared to be one of the unfortunate side effects of liking Riku.

“I’ll be back in two days.”

“Two days is sooooo long, ugh,” Sora told the blanket. Then he lifted his head. “I don’t think that kiss in the Secret Place counted as our first kiss, though.”

“It was a proper kiss,” Riku argued. “With tongue and everything.”

“I had no idea what I was doing,” Sora raised his head to talk to the Gummiphone screen again. 

“No one does for their first kiss,” Riku said, still blushing.

“I also just really want a first kiss with you…” Sora sighed. 

Riku stared at him in a way that made Sora squirm against the pillows and he almost averted his gaze again. It was only the dark— _hungry_ —look in Riku’s eyes, made even more appealing because he was still blushing, that kept Sora from burying his face in the blanket again. He wanted Riku to look at him like that forever.

“It’ll be our first kiss as boyfriends,” Riku said, his voice rough. The sound of it sent a pang of heat directly into the pit of Sora’s stomach. “That counts a little?”

“It counts,” Sora said, and he was surprised when his voice came out all breathless and eager. 

Riku’s eyes went wide, and his lips parted slightly. Sora shifted forward on his stomach, wanting to see from closer up. Now that he knew Riku was thinking about them kissing _too_ , the next time he saw Riku, Sora was definitely going to kiss him. He didn’t care if it would be wet and gross, just the _thought_ of it made something hot flutter restlessly in his belly. 

He was suddenly tingly and warm all over. He’d have to stop squirming or the friction of his hips against the mattress would make for an uneasy rest of the phone call.

“Ugh,” Sora said, heartfelt. “Now I’m not gonna be able to think about anything _else_ for the next two days. Kairi is going to laugh at me when I space out over breakfast again, and the brooms will scold me when I stumble up the stairs with dirt under my boots because I forgot to wipe them, and Master Yen Sid will give me extra homework I won’t be able to do because all I’ll be thinking of is _kissing_ you.”

“I’ll help you with the homework,” Riku said, and a wave of _something_ crashed over Sora. (It was love, his brain—ever helpful—supplied.)

“Come back as soon as you can,” Sora said, and he didn’t care if he sounded like he was pleading a little. “If you take too long I think I’ll _die_.”

Riku snorted, leaning closer to the screen of the phone. “You won’t die. But just in case, I promise I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Sora leaned closer a little as well. If they’d been in the same room, they would’ve been within kissing distance. Sora sighed and stuck out his lower lip a little bit. “Okay.”

  
  


*****

  
  


Sora didn’t know two days could feel like two _years_. Possibly two _decades_. If he hadn’t been seventeen years old, he’d have as many gray hairs as Yen Sid from worrying and thinking about kissing Riku for roughly fifteen out of the sixteen hours he was awake each day.

He didn’t even get to _talk_ to Riku again, because Riku and the King had to go into the Realm of Darkness looking for some special crystal that Ienzo needed for some stupid research project. Reception was always too wonky for phone calls in the Realm of Darkness, so Sora had to live off texts and pictures for _two whole days_. He didn’t care what Riku said, it felt like he _would_ die from the feelings simmering inside of him.

But finally, _finally_ , Riku’s ship landed in the clearing behind the Tower midway through the second day, and Sora abandoned the homework he wasn’t able to focus on anyway before racing down all five hundred flights of stairs to the front door.

He met Riku in the little round entrance hall of the Tower.

“Hi,” Sora said, breathless from more than just running down five hundred flights of stairs. Contrary to what he had naively imagined, the simmering feelings didn’t stop simmering in the slightest now that Riku was standing in front of him again.

“Hello,” Riku said, and Sora at least was happy to see that Riku was looking just as awkward and nervous as Sora was feeling.

“Uhm,” Sora said. He took a step forward so that Riku would only need to reach out to touch him. Riku didn’t.

“Did you get extra homework?” Riku asked instead.

“Huh?” For a few seconds, Sora wondered why they were talking about homework instead of kissing. He preferred it when they talked about kissing. How to steer the conversation in that direction, though?

Riku gave a faint, slightly nervous smile. “You said you’d be too spaced out to pay attention to what Master Yen Sid was trying to teach you, because…uhm…”

“Oh!” Sora said, pleased that the conversation seemed to be going in the direction of kissing again. “Yeah, uhm, no extra homework. I heard him mumble something to the brooms about how everyone must have been young once. I have no idea what he meant.”

“So you did space out,” Riku goaded.

Sora nodded wistfully, because while daydreaming about kissing Riku had been inconvenient, it had also been _very_ nice, even though Kairi had knocked him on the head with her keyblade more than once during practice. She’d claimed it had been accidental, but she’d looked far too pleased with herself for Sora to believe her.

“Because you’ve been thinking about…”

“Yeah! About…” Sora laughed nervously. “A lot. And uh… And you?”

Riku closed the distance between them, and Sora made a happy sound when Riku reached out to put his right hand on Sora’s waist. Riku’s backpack slipped down his left shoulder and onto the floor.

“Me too,” Riku said, and Sora was so distracted by the way Riku’s breath had quickened into shallow little pants that he lost the thread of the conversation at this point. He swayed forward into Riku’s personal space, his hand on Riku’s chest for balance.

Sora licked his lips, and when he realized what he was doing—the moment Riku’s eyes snapped towards the movement of his tongue and up again so fast Sora almost missed it—he did it again, this time more slowly.

“Sora…” 

“Yes?” Sora asked innocently. Absentmindedly he recognized one of them would have to move in first.

“God, just kiss me,” Riku blurted out, and those words were so unexpected that Sora just continued to stand there for a very long moment, eyes darting across Riku’s face. 

Then, when Riku’s face started to slowly fall and close off, Sora knew he had to _do_ something, so he lifted one hand towards the back of Riku’s head and pushed himself up on his tiptoes, instantly bringing their lips a mere inch from each other. The tingling was back, every inch of his body feeling hyper-sensitive and attuned to everything _Riku_ : the faint ozone smell of interworld travel, his warm, moist breath against Sora’s lips, the feel of his soft, silky hair underneath Sora’s fingers.

Sora closed his eyes and leaned in the final inch.

It was _so much better_ than the faint memory of the wet kiss in the damp cave of the Secret Place. For one thing, they didn’t knock their teeth together. 

He had pictured this moment at least two hundred times over the past forty hours, and somehow it was still better than he’d imagined it. Riku’s lips were warm and soft and a little chapped against his, and Riku’s lower lip slotted perfectly between Sora’s lips. Riku tasted like bitter coffee and peppermint. After 2.3 seconds, Sora started to move his lips against Riku’s, a little hesitantly at first. 

Through the foggy pleasure in his head, Sora felt Riku tremble.

Then, because it felt like the logical next step, Sora opened his mouth and licked against Riku’s lips with the tip of his tongue. Riku got the hint, his mouth opening, and then their _tongues_ were touching, and Sora couldn’t stop the little moaning sound that bubbled up in his throat. Sora had been worried he wouldn’t know what to do, but luckily it felt like his body just knew how to act. It was _easy_ , easier even than wielding a keyblade for the first time.

He pressed up a little harder, pleased when Riku tightened his grip on his waist in return. This kiss was just as wet as the one Sora remembered, especially when he slipped his tongue inside Riku’s mouth, just to see what it felt like. It was soft and warm too, though, and it was… _really_ good. Not gross at all this time.

Huh. Funny how opinions changed.

A lazy, tingly feeling spread all through Sora’s body, starting at the top of his head and spreading down into his chest; it made him press even closer to Riku, bringing their hips and chests flush together.

Riku made a choking sound, but one hand came up to cup Sora’s cheek, so it wasn’t a sound in protest. 

_I’m kissing Riku_ , Sora thought hazily. _I. Am. Kissing. Riku_. _It doesn’t matter if it’s not a first kiss, it’s still the best kiss I’ve ever had and I wanna kiss him a thousand more times just like this._

Then, around the time Riku brushed his tongue against the inside of Sora’s cheek, Sora stopped thinking at all and let out another soft, accidental moan. This time, Riku made a similar sound that made Sora feel faint. Or maybe that was the lack of oxygen.

For a few seconds, he debated against the pros and cons of breaking the kiss. Pros: getting to breathe again. Cons: not kissing Riku. 

The former only marginally won out, and he let himself fall back on his heels, breaking the kiss. He opened his eyes to see Riku’s half-lidded stare, his mouth dark red and shiny. Both of their breathing was stuttery and shallow.

“Oh,” Riku said.

“Wow,” Sora said. He continued, faintly, “Okay, I take back what I said when I was eleven. I understand now why people kiss like this.”

Then he took Riku’s left hand in his right and grabbed the backpack from the tiled floor with his left, and dragged Riku up the first of the five hundred flights of stairs.

“We’re gonna do this all day,” Sora announced to no one in particular.

The brooms on the first landing definitely nodded to him in reply.

  
  


*****

  
  


Sora’s parents’ house never seemed to change no matter how long Sora went between visits. The porch swing still needed repainting and the bottom porch step was still cracked from Sora jumping down on it too many times. His mom had planted new flowers in the railing boxes since the last time he’d been here, bright red, but the same lazy bees circled them as ever, their humming as familiar a song to Sora as any childhood cereal jingle. 

Being back on Destiny Islands these days always felt strange, Sora thought as he and Riku climbed the steps. So many things here never changed, making him feel like he’d stepped back in time and was a little kid again, while other things made him feel like he’d grown up too much and traveled too far for this to ever be home again. 

“Are you nervous?” Riku asked, pulling Sora to a stop just before they reached the door. Startled from his thoughts, Sora looked up at Riku with a frown of confusion. “You’re squeezing my hand really tight.”

“Oh.” Sora tried to let go, but Riku held on, giving him a squeeze back. “Only a little.” 

It wasn’t nothing to bring home a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend on Destiny Islands, but Sora couldn’t imagine his mother ever saying something unkind to Riku. He was more anxious about talking to his father, but he wouldn’t be home from work until almost dinnertime, so Sora still had a little while to work himself up to it.

“We don’t have to tell your parents about us yet,” Riku assured. “It’s only been a week. There’s no rush.”

Sora examined Riku’s face, trying to figure out if Riku meant that, or if he was just offering it to make Sora feel better. Riku looked relaxed, though, eyes attentive. Sora shook his head. “I was thinking about how weird coming back here feels. Everything’s the same as always, though, so I don’t get why I feel that way.”

Riku’s gaze drifted from Sora to the porch swing, the flowers, and back to Sora. “I think it’s because we’ve changed so much. We aren’t little kids anymore, so it’s hard to know how to fit into our old lives again, I guess.”

Sora smiled, the tight feeling in his chest easing; Riku was always better at explaining that kind of stuff. “Quit sounding so smart, you’re gonna remind my mom why she always liked you better.” 

“She does not—” Riku started, but just then the bang of the porch door made both of them jump, Sora’s mother throwing it open with a little too much energy. Sora definitely came by his dramatic entrances honestly, that was for sure. 

“Boys!” she exclaimed, yanking both of them into a crushing hug before either had a chance to dodge. She wasn’t much taller than Sora and hugged just as tight, as if she was about to put both of them in a headlock. “It’s so good to see both of you. Riku, are you taller again? You stop that right this minute!”

“That’s what I keep telling him,” Sora grumbled against his mother’s shoulder. She still smelled the same, like vanilla and the generic brand laundry detergent she’d used all of Sora’s childhood. The familiar smells soothed the last of the weirdness away. He squirmed, but his mother’s grip was too strong. “Aw, come on, Mom! We’re starving, leggo!”

“Nope, I get to hug you one second for every day you were away without calling me,” Sora’s mother said cheerfully, making Sora groan. “Now, I was going to ask what brings you boys home finally, but…” Sora’s mother released them finally, looking down at their still-joined hands. “Does it maybe have to do with that?”

“Maybe?” Sora chuckled nervously. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Riku turning pink, refusing to meet eyes with anyone. “Surprise?”

“It’s really not that much of one,” Sora’s mother said, making Riku and Sora both blink at her. She turned to go back in the door, waving them in behind her. “Let’s get you boys some lunch, before you waste away to nothing, and you can tell me all about it.”

Sora’s mom had homemade tomato soup on the stove, and she toasted grilled cheese sandwiches for them while they sat at the kitchen table to talk. She always made grilled cheese with the perfect amount of burntness on the outside; whenever Sora tried to imitate it, his always turned out just regular burnt. 

Riku ate quietly while Sora told his mother the whole story of Riku confessing and Sora returning his feelings. Riku didn’t seem uncomfortable and kicked back when Sora kicked his foot lightly under the table, so that was all right. Sora knew Riku was just shyer about some things, even if it was only Sora’s mother, so he didn’t mind doing the talking for both of them. 

And Sora hadn’t really been _that_ nervous about telling his mother, but as he was smooshing the crust of his sandwich into the last puddle of soup, he finally asked, “It’s really okay? With you, I mean.” 

Across the table, Riku went very still. 

“Oh, honey,” Sora’s mother said sympathetically. She reached to ruffle Sora’s hair. “Of course it is. I just want the two of you to be happy. And I know as a parent you can’t guess which friendships your kids will keep and which will end, but honestly I’ve never been able to picture you two not being together in the future. So this is sort of a relief.”

“Really?” Sora asked, something about that making his cheeks burn at the same time as his stomach twisted pleasantly. Riku’s face was doing something complicated, looking like he was surprised, embarrassed, and thinking too hard, all at once. “What do you mean?”

“Go get your baby photo album and I’ll show you,” his mother said. She stood up to collect their plates and bowls. 

“Mooooom,” Sora protested. Riku had probably seen every picture in the album, but in context of bringing home Riku as his boyfriend the first time, this felt like too much. “Baby pictures? Really?”

“You asked, didn’t you? Go on!” Sora’s mother said, hand on her hip. “Riku, do you want some more iced tea? You’re pinker than a shrimp.”

“Yes, please,” Riku muttered, covering his face with his hands. Sora chuckled as he trotted out of the kitchen. Even though he was embarrassed too, seeing Riku get even more flustered was still funny. 

The photo albums were in the same place they had always been, sitting in a neat line on the bottom shelf of the bookcase in the living room, their leather spines worn smooth from handling. The earliest ones were his parents’ baby and childhood albums, and the big white one with all their wedding and honeymoon photos. Sora’s book was in the middle, the cover bright red with his name in gold lettering.

Back in the kitchen, Sora sat the book on the cleared table and pulled his chair around to sit closer to Riku so they could both see. His mother’s back was still turned, so Sora snuck a quick kiss against Riku’s cheek, just to cause trouble. 

“Behave,” Riku hissed, going bright pink all over again. Sora grinned smugly, and Riku pinched his arm, making Sora yelp. 

“Boys,” Sora’s mother scolded as she came back from the sink, wiping her hands on a towel. 

“He started it,” Sora and Riku both said, pointing. 

Sora’s mother rolled her eyes and reached to open the photo album. The first few pages were Sora as a newborn in the hospital, being brought home, and being held by various relatives. He was asleep in practically all of them, hair sticking out wildly.

“Not much has changed,” Riku teased. Sora stuck his tongue out. 

“Here we are,” Sora’s mother said, finding the page she wanted. “Even before Sora was born, when Riku was very small, I used to babysit regularly for his mother a few days a week. That’s how you two met. Look.” 

The picture she pointed to was at Riku’s house for sure, the wide glass doors leading out to their garden in the background. Sora’s mother was sitting on the floor in the sun, holding Sora in her lap while Riku leaned over him curiously. Sora was wide awake in this one, gripping Riku’s finger in his fist. 

“So much for holding hands the first time,” Sora sighed, making Riku laugh. “At least there’s photographic evidence.”

“You used to cry when I took him home,” Sora’s mother said fondly. “I’d take you two to the park and you’d just sit beside the stroller, refusing to go play with the other kids.”

“Not much has changed,” Sora imitated Riku from earlier. 

“Oh, shut up,” Riku retorted, pinching him again, but under the table this time. He left his hand resting on Sora’s leg instead of pulling it back, and Sora went quiet, a little thrill of excitement working up his spine. 

“Riku’s in so many of these,” Sora’s mother said, turning a few more pages. Sora was old enough to stand in these pictures, usually clinging to the edge of the couch or a table or Riku’s hand. “As soon as you could walk, you followed him everywhere. When Riku went down to only one afternoon nap and you still needed two, you’d cry like you were being murdered unless Riku laid down and pretended he was napping too.”

“Crybaby,” Riku said fondly. He pointed at a picture of a very cranky Sora glaring at the camera with tear-filled eyes, lower lip stuck out in a pout. “Look, you still make that face when you’re too tired but won’t go to bed yet.”

“He does!” Sora’s mother laughed before Sora could tell Riku off. She patted both of them on the shoulder. “If I bake you boys sugar cookies, Riku, will you be a dear and take some to your parents? Sora said you’re going home for dinner.”

“Sure,” Riku answered. He pulled his hand away from Sora’s thigh, which Sora was a little sorry about, but then he draped it over the back of Sora’s chair. That was nice enough, Sora supposed. 

Sora was still interested in the photo album, turning pages slowly. He’d never thought it was strange before that Riku was in almost all of his childhood pictures, but thinking about it now, probably most people would have had more alone, if they were an only child, or more with just their families until they were school age. 

He paused on a picture of himself and Riku in the bathtub together, waving plastic dinosaurs at each other. Probably most couples, normal couples, didn’t have so many pictures naked together taken by their mothers. 

“So much for our first time being naked together,” Riku said, low enough for Sora’s mother not to hear. “Even this isn’t the first time by a long shot.”

Frustration was slowly filling Sora’s chest again, that they’d used up so many of their firsts, so long ago that Sora couldn’t even remember them. He felt aggravated with his younger self, the Sora in the pictures cluelessly enjoying himself, as if he’d gotten a new coloring book only to find out that guy had filled in a bunch of the pictures already. 

“We’re not very normal, are we?” Sora asked.

“Would you want us to be?” Riku asked, voice carefully neutral. 

Sora thought about being normal. No danger. No Heartless. No confusion over his actual age. No keyblades. No Gummi ship. No Dream Eater Link. No magic. 

“...No,” Sora said softly, leaning his head against Riku’s shoulder. Riku’s arm moved from the back of the chair to Sora’s shoulders, a comforting weight.

“Good,” Riku replied. Sora waited for Riku to say more, but he didn’t. He was still flipping pages of the album, examining the pictures. The last page must have been Halloween, Sora’s father pulling the two of them in a wagon, both of them clutching beach buckets as candy pails and wearing blue pillowcases with white Musketeer crosses painted on them. “I kind of remember this.”

“You do?” Sora asked. There was another picture of them on the sidewalk holding up their swords, their eyes red from the camera’s flash. The last picture was them in a blanket fort in Sora’s living room, counting out their candy piles very seriously. When he looked up at Riku, Riku was watching him.

Unexpectedly, Riku leaned in to kiss him. It was quick, over before Sora could react, but it still made Sora’s heart race, a wide smile spreading over his face. Riku had kissed him in broad daylight, in the middle of the kitchen, with his mom _right there_. 

Riku apparently had the same revelation, leaning away and clearing his throat. “Go bake with your mom, weirdo.”

Sora only grinned harder, leaning forward into Riku’s space. “If I’m such a weirdo, why do you wanna kiiiiiss me?” Riku put his hand over Sora’s face to shove him back, cheeks going pink. Laughing, Sora let himself be pushed out of his chair. “Okay, okay. You don’t want to help?”

“None of us wants that,” Riku said, which was true enough. “Tell me when it’s time to taste-test cookie dough.”

Standing shoulder to shoulder with Riku in the bright kitchen, everything smelling of butter and sugar, cutting out neat cookie circles with the rims of drinking glasses and sneaking pinches of leftover dough, Sora thought about the dozens of times he and Riku had done exactly this growing up. Maybe there were nice things about coming back here, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the amazing response to this story so far! We hope you'll love this second chapter just as much 😏
> 
> * * *

It was a relief to escape up to his room after dinner, Riku’s shoulders relaxing as soon as he had the door shut behind him. 

Riku got along fine with his parents, but even before he’d left Destiny Islands he hadn’t felt like they understood him very well. At dinner, they had asked about his life at the Mysterious Tower as if he were away at boarding school and perhaps a member of the fencing club there. Riku didn’t feel any pressure to lie about his keyblade or magic, but any story he tried to tell them that involved those things directly was met with polite, blank expressions, and then the conversation would turn back to news about the neighbors or his father’s day at work. 

An hour of conversation had been a draining experience. Riku had claimed he was tired from the trip as soon as it seemed reasonable to do so, collected a handful of sugar cookies, and escaped from the table. At least the cookies were criminally good, Riku thought as he bit off half of one. He’d eaten his fair share warm from the oven that afternoon but never got tired of the way they melted over his tongue, soft and buttery. Sora had promised to bring the recipe back with him, although anything they baked in the Tower’s kitchen was just as likely to come out pink or green as it was to be cookie-colored. 

Riku glanced around his room as he ate his cookies, noticing the books in his bookcase, the games stacked on his shelves. When he pulled open a dresser drawer, clothes he had no chance of fitting in were folded in neat squares. Something about it felt sad. He should do something about it, Riku thought suddenly. Sort them, donate them, let them do some good for someone else instead of just sitting here getting dusted once a week and waiting for a Riku who was never coming back. 

Brushing cookie crumbs off his hands, Riku pulled the dresser drawer he’d opened out all the way, and then upended the whole thing on the floor. 

When Sora crawled through his window several hours later, Riku’s room was a certified disaster area. 

“What are you _doing_?” Sora demanded, frozen with one leg over the windowsill, eyes wide as he looked at the piles of Riku’s possessions strewn all over the floor in haphazard heaps. “Are you freaking out?”

“No!” Riku laughed. He’d finished with his dresser and desk shelves, and now was sitting in front of his bookcase next to the bed, books stacked all around him. The books were harder to let go of than the other things had been, Riku dithering over them. “I’m going through things, to donate them. I’m not using any of them.”

“Oh!” Sora swung his other leg into the room and dropped down into Riku’s bed, bouncing on the mattress. He was in the worn tank top and shorts he slept in, Riku noticed, hair sticking out in weird bunches as if he’d taken a shower and then laid in bed for a bit while it was still damp. 

“What’s the matter, couldn’t last one whole night in your room alone?” Riku teased.

“Ugh, my bed is tiny! Even Ven wouldn’t fit in it,” Sora complained, flopping onto his back in Riku’s bed and stretching his arms and legs all the way out. Even with his last growth spurt, Sora couldn’t reach the edges of Riku’s queen size mattress from the center. “Yours is so much better! Stupid rich kid.”

“Are you sure that’s the only reason?” Riku pressed, a little thrill of nerves lighting up in his chest that now he could tease Sora about being in his bed. He hoped Sora was planning to stay; he’d gotten used to falling asleep with Sora’s warm, reassuring weight pressed against him, and he hadn’t been looking forward to sleeping on his own. 

Sora rolled over onto his side and stuck his tongue out. “Yup! Just the siren call of your luxurious mattress. Why, what are you suggesting?” Sora wiggled his eyebrows, making Riku laugh. His smile turned fond as he watched Riku move more books around, and when Riku looked up, Sora’s eyes were knowing. “Just put ‘em back. You’re never gonna get rid of those.”

“I should get rid of some,” Riku insisted, more to convince himself than to argue with Sora. It felt good that Sora knew him so well. “Are any of these yours?”

“Oh, who knows?” Sora said carelessly, shrugging. “We always swapped so it doesn’t matter. Hey, I brought something to show you.” Sora scooted across the mattress to the edge, dug around in the pocket of his shorts, and then held out his closed fist to Riku. 

Setting down the books he was holding, Riku held out his hand, curious to see what Sora had. Sora opened his hand, and a glass marble dropped into Riku’s palm, warm from Sora’s skin. 

“The marble!” Riku grinned, holding it up to the light. It was just as pretty as he remembered, the yellow and blue cats eye twirling up through the center. “I’m impressed you found it, we haven’t played marbles since we were ten.”

“It was the first place I looked,” Sora said proudly. “My top desk drawer, right behind a stack of Blitzball cards with a bubblegum stick melted in between them.” 

He was leaning over the edge of the bed, watching the light catch in the glass of the marble, close enough that Riku could see every freckle brushed over his nose. Warmth filled Riku’s chest at how relaxed Sora was, how near. Riku only had to turn his head to press his lips to Sora’s, lingering and sweet. 

“What was that for?” Sora asked when Riku pulled back.

Riku wasn’t entirely sure, but he smiled like he was being coy. “Just wanted to.” Before Sora could tease him, Riku added quickly, “I found something to show you, too. It’s on my desk.”

Sora swung his legs off the bed and hopped to his feet, roughing up Riku’s hair on the way by and making him grumble. There was no way Sora could miss what Riku was talking about, since it was the only thing sitting on the desk: a red construction-paper valentine with a shooting star in gold glitter and a pair of crossed swords drawn in silver marker, reading “For my Best Friend” in Sora’s uneven handwriting. 

Riku was expecting Sora to be surprised, maybe to laugh; he was not expecting Sora to turn around with glassy eyes and a wobbling lip. 

“You kept it,” Sora said. He reached up to swipe at his eyes. 

“I did.” Riku felt like a rock had settled in his stomach for ruining the light-hearted mood of a moment before. Not sure how to fix it, Riku shifted his weight to stand up, but Sora was already coming back towards him. He dropped to his knees on the carpet next to Riku, toppling a stack of books. Riku held out his arms for a hug, and Sora fell into them, careful not to crush the valentine between them. “It was the last valentine you ever made me.”

“Was the first one I ever made you,” Sora corrected, voice muffled against Riku’s shoulder. 

That was technically true; all the years before that, Riku and Sora had both bought boxes of the cheap, pre-printed kind from the drugstore for their elementary classes’ Valentine’s Day parties, the kind you tore apart along dotted lines and just signed your name to. They’d always traded the ones that had the worst jokes on them, like “I like you a waffle lot” or “You’re one in a melon.” 

Sora had made this one the first year that Riku was in middle school. Unlike Sora’s easy-going elementary school party where the whole class traded valentines, ate brownies, and drank lemonade, Riku had spent the day awkwardly listening to the boys in his class rag on each other over who would get the most chocolate from which cute girls. Riku had been approached by a few girls, which felt even more awkward; he’d shoved the little packages of chocolate to the bottom of his school bag. When Sora had proudly presented his handmade card to Riku on the walk home, in front of everybody, Riku froze, face going as red as the paper.

If they’d been alone, Riku might have explained better that in middle school things were different. Instead his teeth felt glued together as Tidus and Selphie laughed, and Wakka tried to explain that girls were supposed to give valentines to boys. Riku saw the hurt on Sora’s face at Riku’s lack of reaction, but Sora had pasted on a bright smile after a second and laughed too, playing along. 

“I was happy that you made me this,” Riku said, hugging Sora more tightly, until Sora’s breath hitched. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”

“You didn’t mean to,” Sora said loyally. “I understood it later. Also middle school was really terrible and I’m not sorry I didn’t finish it.”

Riku chuckled, leaning his cheek against Sora’s hair. “It was terrible. I’d take Master Yen Sid’s homework instead any day, even when he thinks he’s explaining time travel.”

“Right?” Sora pulled back far enough to examine Riku’s face. “Hey. Did you know back then? About...boys, or me, or...you know.”

“Not exactly,” Riku answered, brushing Sora’s hair out of his face. It had taken a long time after that before he’d understood himself clearly. “I knew I didn’t want valentines from girls. I knew I felt jealous and mad when you paid attention to anyone else. I knew being your best friend was the most important thing to me, even when I didn’t act like it.”

“Mm, I guess I can forgive you,” Sora said, his smile soft. “But this year it’s your turn to make me a valentine. You can’t buy it either, you have to make it yourself.”

“It’s a deal.” Riku smiled back, heart skipping. Valentine’s Day was months and months away; thinking about being together that far in the future felt wild but so exciting. 

“And you can’t have your marble back!” Sora insisted, startling Riku into laughing. “I’m serious, hand it over! I’m gonna ask Aqua to make me something with it, like an accessory or whatever.” Riku dutifully handed back their engagement marble, and Sora tucked it safely in his pocket. “Hey, can we take some of these books back with us to the Tower? We can reread them together.”

“That’s a really good idea,” Riku agreed, bemused as always at the speed with which Sora bounced between topics. “You pick three and I’ll pick three.” Riku looked at some of the books nearest him while Sora started picking over the stack he’d knocked over. “I’m taking ‘Crown’s Oath.’”

“No fair, that’s my favorite!” Sora gave Riku a shove. “Then I’m taking ‘Edge of Oblivion,’ and I’m gonna read it to you in the middle of the night and give you the nightmares about deep space this time.”

Sora helped Riku reshelve the books as they argued about their choices and set aside their favorites. Riku had the suspicion that a couple more books might make it into the pile before they left. By the time they were done, Sora was yawning, and Riku decided the rest of the mess he’d created could wait until morning to be packed up for donation. Sora crawled back into the center of Riku’s bed while Riku changed into sweatpants and went to brush his teeth. 

They curled up in bed together with “Crown’s Oath,” Riku wondering if his tattered paperback had enough spine glue left to survive interstellar travel. Even though both of them had read the beginning enough times to have it memorized, Riku read it out loud anyway. Sora curled up against Riku’s shoulder and laughed quietly at all the same parts he always did.

“We should magic your bed bigger back at the Tower,” Sora interrupted the first sword fight, sounding half-asleep. When Riku glanced down, Sora’s eyelids were so heavy they were practically closed. “Can’t be that hard.”

“Hmm.” Riku kept his voice skeptical even though he liked the sound of that a lot. “That’ll certainly give the brooms something to talk about.”

“Let ‘em talk,” Sora said, fingers curling possessively in Riku’s shirt. “So long as they keep their twigs to themselves. You’re mine.”

“Always have been,” Riku said. He let the book fall shut on his chest and threaded his fingers through Sora’s hair. Sora hummed happily, eyes closing. 

And if Riku’s marble really was lucky, maybe he always would be. 

  
  


*****

  
  


After packing up all of the things Riku had marked for donation and getting his mother to drive him and Sora to the donation drop off center, Sora had insisted they row out to the play island midway through the afternoon. “For old time’s sake, Riku!”

Riku hadn’t been back there often since they’d left the islands, and the last few times hadn’t exactly been the _happiest_. Still, Sora was looking at him with bright eyes and an even brighter smile, and Riku had been unable to say no.

It turned out he needn’t have worried. Sora talked a mile a minute as they rowed over, listing off all of the fun things they’d ever done on the play island as if he was on a game show and every correct answer would win him a hundred munny. 

“And do you remember when my dad and Wakka’s dad built the shed for us? We kept pestering them all day how long they were gonna be and if we could play in it yet.”

Riku laughed. “I remember that, yeah.”

“Wakka’s dad eventually forbade us from talking to them again while they were working and promised us instead he would come and find us when it was done.”

Riku remembered the feeling of anticipation as if it was yesterday, and how he’d had to restrain Sora every time he got too impatient and tried to wander off towards the half-constructed shed. “It felt like it took them forever, but they finished before sunset anyway.”

“Yeah,” Sora said, and he paused his rowing as he smiled at the memory. “I wanted to sleep in the shed that night, but my dad wouldn’t let me.” Sora’s face slipped into a pout as if he still felt that was the most unfair thing in the world.

“Ah,” Riku exclaimed softly, his eyes finding Sora’s. Talking about Sora’s dad reminded him of the fact that Sora was going to tell him about their relationship, and amidst all the other things happening, Riku had completely forgotten to ask Sora about it. 

“What’s wrong?” Sora asked, leaning forward to put a hand on Riku’s knee. 

Riku tried to ignore the warm tingle at Sora’s touch, instead focusing on Sora’s face. “Did you end up talking to your dad? About…us?”

Sora’s face lit up, and the thing inside Riku’s chest that he hadn’t even realized had tightened unfurled again. Sora squeezed his knee before pulling his hand back as he started to row once more. “Yeah! I don’t know why I was so worried. He ruffled my hair and said ‘I hope he makes you very happy’ and then he, uh…”

Sora chuckled, and Riku couldn’t stop himself from frowning a little. “He what?”

“He said that if you ever hurt me, he didn’t care if you were a Keyblade Master, he would find you and have a long, stern talk with you. I’m so glad you weren’t there for that conversation, it was the most embarrassing thing ever. Even more embarrassing than my mom showing us the baby pictures.”

At seeing Sora squirm a little on the wooden seat, Riku’s frown disappeared and he felt the corners of his mouth turn up instead. 

“Don’t worry,” he blurted out because it seemed every day since he and Sora had gotten together, his brain-to-mouth filter dissolved a little more. “I won’t ever hurt you again.”

It was worth it, though, for the way Sora’s face went soft as he squirmed a little more. “I know. That’s what I told my dad.”

“Good.” 

When they arrived at their island and tied up the boat at the dock, Sora took off his shoes and left them in the boat, preferring to go barefoot. Riku, who felt too exposed without his boots on, jumped down from the dock into the sand first, turning around to hold out his hand to Sora. With a giggle, Sora jumped off into Riku’s arms, stealing a lingering kiss before lacing their fingers together.

“Now what?” Riku asked, looking around. 

Everything was exactly as he remembered it; the massive tree in the center, the pool with the roaring waterfall, the wooden shed, the small island with the paopu tree on which he, Sora, and Kairi had sat hundreds, maybe thousands of times. It all looked so _small_ now. Well, Riku supposed it had already looked small to him when he’d been fifteen, but as a little boy, this island had been his entire world, and the beach had felt massive.

“I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” Sora said, a little sheepishly.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Riku turned to Sora with a grin, letting him know he was teasing. Sora’s reaction was immediate and didn’t disappoint: narrowed eyes, pouting lips, and an exaggerated huff.

“Rikuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!”

“Come on,” Riku laughed, tugging Sora back into step with him. “We can just explore the island for a bit?”

“I don’t think it’s changed even one bit from the day we left,” Sora said, still a little petulant, but he was quick to forget his moping when they started walking along the shoreline. He let go of Riku’s hand to begin collecting seashells.

“Riku, look! We can put these in our room!”

With their pockets full of shells in every shape and color, they raced each other across the wooden platforms, explored the treehouse and the far side of the island, and fooled around in the ocean just like the old days. Sora was right, of course: nothing _had_ changed, but somehow it felt good to reenact the things they’d done almost every day of their childhood.

After they had climbed to the top lookout place for the best view of the main island, Riku took Sora’s hand and dragged him down the wooden platforms again. When Sora realized where Riku was leading them, he bumped Riku’s shoulder with his own.

“Ohhhh, Riku.” With an amused hum, he did a little hop-skip to plant himself in front of Riku so they both came to a halt. “Did you wanna sit on the paopu tree with meeeeee?”

Riku felt his ears heat up in a way that had nothing to do with the midday sun beating down on them. He shrugged, trying to play it off as cool, but the way Sora was smirking at him told him he wasn’t succeeding. He wondered if this would be a permanent thing, Sora being able to reduce him to a blushing mess, grappling for words. Part of him acknowledged that maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, because he _liked_ Sora teasing him a little. He liked how it made his insides feel all squirmy and mellow.

Sora stepped closer, bringing his free hand to smooth Riku’s hair away from his forehead. His expression went a little bashful as his eyes softened. “Don’t worry. I want that, too.”

Not trusting his voice, Riku just nodded, and he let Sora drag them over to the paopu tree in silence. Sora climbed up first—he was still too short to hop onto the tree trunk, Riku noted with no small amount of amusement—Riku pushing himself up after him. As soon as they were both facing the ocean, Sora shuffled into his side, his body softening as he exhaled and rested his head against Riku’s shoulder.

Without thinking too hard about it, Riku wrapped his arm around Sora’s waist to draw him even closer, feeling Sora’s hair tickle at his neck. He caught a whiff of orange-vanilla shampoo, almost overwhelming from so close. The waves gently lapped at the rocks around the little tree island, and the only other sounds out here were—as always—the whoosh of the breeze and the calls of the seagulls looking for fish.

Nothing had changed, and yet _everything_ had changed. It was incredible to Riku that he now got to touch Sora like this. That he got to kiss him whenever he wanted. That Sora held his hand and slept in his bed, all warm and relaxed in his arms. It had only been a week since he had stumbled his way through an almost-teary-eyed confession, but it felt like much longer.

He knew Sora was hung up on the idea of having firsts together. But while Riku understood that, and he _also_ liked the idea of firsts, he found it didn’t matter as much to him. Just the fact that he had Sora by his side, to talk with and to hug and to touch was more than enough for him. Still, he could tell it was important to Sora, and sitting here on the paopu tree, he realized there was a first he could give Sora right here, right now.

Sora had told him ‘I love you’ plenty of times as they grew up, but Riku had never said the words back. And eventually, as Riku had drawn more into himself and had been torn between wanting Sora to _look_ at him and teasing Sora to keep him at arm’s length, Sora had stopped saying it. Riku had pushed down his disappointment over it, filing Sora’s spoken affections under his long list of things he was undeserving of, but it bubbled back up now, as powerful as the waves during a summer storm.

He could say those three words to Sora now. He had known them to be true for a long time, back before he even completely realized the implications of them. When he was making his way through the basements of a massive, white castle, struggling with his darkness and his shame over letting his friends down, wanting nothing more than a second chance to make it up to _Sora_.

The sun was on its way down, but it would be a few hours still before sunset. They’d probably be on their way back to the Tower in the Gummi ship by then, with Sora whining that it was Axel’s turn to cook so the food would be too spicy while Riku hummed in agreement and dodged asteroids, because that was their life now. Their life _together_.

He really should say it. He pictured the way Sora would look at him, all soft eyes and pink cheeks and freckles, and that would be worth more than any nerves he felt now. No matter what anyone said, _Sora_ was the sap.

He took a deep breath, promptly lost his nerve, and just exhaled in a long, low almost-whistle.

Sora must have felt him tense up though because he pulled back far enough to look at him. Riku blinked, fingers flexing in the fabric of Sora’s jacket. 

Then, before Sora could say anything, Riku mumbled, the words tumbling over each other so they were barely audible, “I thought of a first we haven’t had yet.” Technically, _Sora_ had said it, but Riku had never said the words back, so that must count.

“Oh?” Sora asked softly, encouragingly.

It was now or never, there was no way out of it now. Riku wondered how he had been able to look the strongest Heartless in the face without fear, but telling Sora _I love you_ was somehow a thousand times more terrifying. 

He forced himself to meet Sora’s eyes and opened his mouth. His breath caught in his throat, but he powered on. “I love you.”

Riku had been right; it was all worth it for the way Sora went doe-eyed and quiet. Then, instead of saying anything in return, Sora’s face turned determined and he reached for the collar of Riku’s jacket. Riku went willingly when Sora tugged him forwards, their mouths meeting in the middle with such force that Riku had to tighten his muscles to keep them both from falling off the tree. 

None of their kisses so far had quite been like _this_ —hungry and full of emotion. Sora deepened it almost immediately, pressing himself closer, tipping his head up for a better angle. It was so sudden that Riku had no time to bite back the moan building deep in his chest, but it was okay because he felt Sora’s answering smile against his lips. As soon as Riku got over the initial surprise of the kiss, he gave back as good as he got, licking, sucking, nipping at Sora’s bottom lip with something akin to desperation. 

Sora opened his mouth, their tongues finding each other, and Riku lost any thoughts he might have had prior to this. It was so _good_ in a way he didn’t think anything could be. So good that he lost any sense of the world around them, his entire universe condensed into just Sora. Something fevery and frenzied started to swirl around in his stomach, and he dropped both his hands to Sora’s waist to draw him closer. The angle of their bodies was a little awkward, but they made it work.

“Riku…” Sora breathed as they parted for air, and Riku immediately dove in again, drunk on kissing and Sora and the words he just said. Sora was the one to moan this time as Riku licked into his mouth, greedy and a little possessively.

They kissed for long minutes, tongues darting around each other, lips pressing and catching, a little frantic, a little desperate. Sora kept pressing closer, kept making those high-pitched needy sounds as his hands roamed over Riku’s chest, down to his hips and back up again. 

Riku’s thoughts drifted of their own accord, to other times and places they could kiss like this. Sora underneath him on his bed, their hips pressed together as Riku used his weight to pin Sora into the mattress. How Sora would arch up into him, drawing moans out of both of them. How warm Sora would feel, pressed against him everywhere, how they would rub against each other until they were both hard and Sora would kiss him and maybe beg a little bit, and— 

Riku’s heart was racing so fast and he felt himself shaking a little as the fantasy played out in his head. He tried to stop thinking about it before things would get embarrassing, so instead he focused on the way his hands tingled, how Sora’s lips felt warm and rough, and how well their bodies fit together, even when sitting on a paopu tree. 

The kiss slowed down to something more gentle and soft as they tried to calm their racing hearts, light brushes of sensitive, swollen lips that felt almost as good as the hungry kisses from before.

Eventually, to his chagrin, Riku ran out of breath, and so he had to pull back, panting. When he opened his eyes again, he saw that Sora was an absolute mess with flushed cheeks and red, kiss-bitten lips. Riku’s stomach swooped pleasantly. _I did that_ , he thought with a flash of pride. Then Sora opened his eyes and smiled, so Riku smiled too, until they were both staring at each other and grinning, trying to get their breathing back under control.

If this is what happened when he told Sora he loved him, Riku resolved to say it as often as he could.

It was Sora who spoke up first. “I love you too.”

“Good,” Riku replied, and Sora laughed.

“But…” Sora started, biting his lip—and drawing Riku’s attention back to his mouth. “You know that wasn’t a first time either, right?”

Riku's eyes shot back up. “ _You_ said it before, I know that. But I didn’t.”

Sora’s face went soft as he shook his head. “You said it, once, right here on this tree. We were really little, like four and five. It was a long time ago, but I remember. I know it was real, it’s one of my first memories.”

Riku tilted his head, searching Sora’s face as he furrowed his brow. Sora wasn’t lying, that much was clear by his open expression. “Really?”

Sora nodded. “I said it to you all the time, but you never said it back. You said lots of other stuff, like ‘You’re my best friend,’ or ‘I’ll protect you,’ but you never said ‘I love you too.’ Even though my parents always said that to each other, so I knew it was what you were supposed to say. I remember crying because I thought it meant you didn’t love me, so you went all bashful and took my hand and said ‘I love you too, Sora,’ and I was the happiest I’d ever been.”

Tears welled up in Riku’s eyes at the story of a memory he couldn’t remember, at the sheer devotion in Sora’s voice as he told it. Sora smiled a wobbly smile.

“So I knew. You said it with so much conviction that I kept those words with me forever, so it didn’t matter that you only said them once.” Sora sniffled as he brushed the back of his fingers over his eyes. “I knew.”

In reply, Riku wrapped both of his arms around Sora’s shoulders, drawing him into a tight hug. Sora’s body shook with a sob that he bit down, and Riku pressed his lips into his hair in a soft kiss, inhaling orange and underneath that, the slightly sweet-salty smell that was just pure _Sora_.

“So that wasn’t a first time either, huh,” Riku said when he thought he could speak again without his voice breaking.

Sora chucked against his collarbones, drawing back to smile up at Riku through his tears. “Nope,” he said cheerfully. “But that’s okay.”

They fell silent, settling back to watch the sun slowly creep closer to the horizon. Both their breathing evened out, and Riku found himself automatically synching his breaths with Sora’s. Being with Sora had always been a rollercoaster of emotions, and Riku wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Are you upset?” Riku asked eventually, glancing down at Sora. “About us using up all of those firsts?”

“Hmmm, not really.” Sora inhaled so deeply Riku felt the movement of his ribcage against his side. “It was still really nice to hear you say it.”

Riku blushed, remembering just _how_ nice Sora had found it.

“But I was thinking…” Sora continued. “There’s one thing we haven’t done yet.”

Riku hummed to show he was listening.

Sora wouldn’t meet his eyes, just kept looking out at the ocean, as his words rushed out of him. “I know for sure that we haven’t had sex yet, so we still have a first left together. Therefore I think we should…have sex.”

If Riku thought he’d blushed before, it was _nothing_ compared to the way he felt his entire face heat up now. He thought back to the kiss, and the fantasy of Sora in his bed, before his mind quickly jumped to the way he’d touched himself in the shower this morning to memories of Sora’s warm and pliant body wrapped all around him.

“Riku?” Sora said, and Riku turned his head to look at him. Sora was just as pink as he must be, his face a complicated mix of shyness and arousal. “Say something.”

“That’s a terrible reason to have sex,” Riku blurted out, and he winced because that wasn’t really what he’d meant to say. What he’d meant to say was _yes please, when?_

Sora blushed even deeper, tipping his head forward to bury his face in Riku’s shoulder with a groan. “Okay, yeah, but…”

Riku kept quiet, unable to help Sora figure out his thoughts this time, so he waited as Sora floundered around his words.

“But I’ve been thinking about it a _lot_ , and… And I really want to? With you?” His voice went soft and high at the end, phrasing the words as a question even though they were probably meant as a statement. He pulled back, looking at Riku with wide, unguarded eyes. “Do you want to as well?”

Riku choked on empty air, mouth hanging open like a fish. His traitorous mind supplied him with images of Sora’s leg between his own, both of them too turned on to do anything but grind against each other, or Sora with him in the shower, touching his dick as Riku had his hands buried in his hair, or Riku with his hands all over Sora’s lithe chest, thumbs drawing circles over Sora’s nipples as Sora squirmed against him.

“Riku?” 

Sora’s voice had gone uncertain and a little too quiet, so Riku blinked to focus back on his face.

“Yes,” he gasped out breathlessly, wincing a little at how eager he sounded. The idea of getting naked with Sora filled him with almost more excitement than nerves. “Yes, I want to as well.”

Sora’s face lit up as the anxiety slipped away from his face, replaced by giddy excitement. “Oh, good. I’m really happy. I wasn’t lying, I think about it _all the time_ , Riku, it’s really hard to focus on anything else whenever I think about you.”

That made something warm and satisfying settle all over Riku, and he smiled as Sora grinned up at him.

Then Sora’s grin went bashful again. “That was another thing my dad said. He said ‘Make sure to use protection,’ and then he gave me munny so I could buy… _stuff_.”

“Stuff,” Riku repeated, a little dumbstruck.

Sora’s face, impossibly, turned even redder, making his eyes even bluer. “I told him we hadn’t done that yet, but he just gave me a knowing look, and that’s when I turned around and went up to my room.”

“He just wants us to be responsible,” Riku said softly, wondering simultaneously if maybe he should just never tell his parents about being _together_ with Sora because he wasn’t sure he’d ever survive a talk like that from his father.

Sora huffed and pouted a little. “Well, anyway, I know there are also things we can do together that don’t involve _stuff_ , so I’m just gonna use it as extra pocket munny.”

Riku chuckled over his own embarrassment, still mostly stuck on the idea that Sora had been thinking about having _sex_ with him. Maybe even at the same time Riku had been thinking about having sex with Sora. The idea made him light up a little inside.

They settled back on the tree side by side, staring out over the ocean. This time though, Riku was more than a little distracted, anticipation curling low and hot in the pit of his stomach. Next to him, Sora started fidgeting with the loops on his pants.

Riku exhaled shakily. At least unlike the last time that he and Sora had talked about a ‘first’ and needed to wait to act on it, now they wouldn’t have to wait two full days. It could happen tonight, maybe? Then he would only need to survive the flight home and Axel’s dinner.

Somehow, that still felt like an eternity. 

  
  


*****

  
  


It was even longer than an eternity. 

The flight home felt like it took ten times longer than it should have, though they still made it back to the Tower in time for dinner. After sitting through two servings of Axel’s Bonds of Flame curry—just as hot as Sora had predicted—and half-listening to Kairi’s story about perfecting her Sonic Blade technique that morning, _and_ being on dishwashing duty, Riku finally followed Sora up the stairs back to their room.

Ever since their talk on the paopu tree, there was something new and exciting in the air between them. They hadn’t talked about _it_ after that, the conversation moving to more general things, but the idea of it, of having _sex_ with Sora, had made itself a nice home at the forefront of Riku’s mind, and no matter what he did, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

That wasn’t to say he’d never thought about it before, but now it occupied like…at least ninety-five percent of his brain space. Judging by the way Sora stumbled into the brooms that were sweeping the second landing, Sora was much the same.

By the time they entered their room, it wasn’t quite late enough to go to bed, but late enough to maybe _think_ about it. To distract himself from the idea of getting into the same bed as Sora while _knowing_ they both wanted to have sex with each other at some point—tonight?—Riku dropped his bag on the floor in front of the bookcase and began to organize the books they’d brought with them.

Sora sighed behind him as he started to unpack his own bag. Then he sighed again as he threw his dirty laundry in the laundry basket, then again as he trudged off into their private little bathroom to place back his toiletries. Riku pretended not to notice as he continued putting the books on the bookshelf, but every cell in his body seemed to have attuned itself to Sora’s presence, to Sora’s every breath and glance. He felt goosebumps on the back of his neck as Sora hovered in the doorway of the bathroom, watching him.

Sora was quiet too, which threw Riku off even more. Sora was _never_ quiet. It was as if the comfortable, quiet routine they had settled into over the past week had been abruptly disturbed, and neither of them knew how to move around the giant elephant in the room. 

After Riku slowly placed the final book on the shelf, he realized there was no way he could drag this out any longer. Still, he rested his hands on his lap, the thumb of his right hand sweeping over the calluses on his left palm. His breathing came quicker than before, and they hadn’t even said or _done_ anything yet.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Sora moving towards him, dropping down cross-legged on the wooden floor next to him. He’d taken off his jacket and was wearing a t-shirt which was much too big on him—which meant it had to be one of Riku’s. Riku’s stomach did a thrilled little swoop at the realization.

After a beat or two, Sora shifted, drawing his legs underneath him and leaning into Riku’s side. That made Riku turn his head and meet Sora’s eyes. Sora was warm—he was _always_ warm, but it was extra noticeable now for some reason. Riku’s fingers twitched in his lap, aching to reach for Sora and draw him closer. He felt restless with anticipation, like going up on a rollercoaster, the slow climb before the eventual fall.

“Sora…” he breathed, breaking the silence with a helpless whisper. He wasn’t even sure what he was asking for. When he had fantasized about being naked with Sora, it had never included this nervous, tense lead-up.

Sora hummed in reply, his breath catching in the small space between them.

“What do—” Riku started.

“We don’t have to do it now,” Sora said at the same time, cutting Riku off. 

“Oh,” Riku said, and it felt like the bottom had just dropped out of his stomach. Despite the nerves and the tension, he still _wanted_ , he wanted so much… But if Sora didn’t want to do it now, he would wait, of course. “Okay. Yeah. We should only do it when we’re both comfortable.”

“Yeah,” Sora said, and his mouth curved up into a smile even as his eyes clouded over for a second.

“There’s lots of time.” Riku finally found the strength to move his hands, and he curled his left arm around Sora’s shoulder, bringing them closer together. “We can just sleep.”

Sora nodded and, apparently emboldened a little by Riku reaching out to him, slung one leg over Riku’s to settle himself in Riku’s lap. “Can we still kiss?”

Riku soothed his hand down the back of Sora’s t-shirt, his fingers bumping over the little knots of his spine. His other hand settled against Sora’s thigh, slipping into the side pocket of his pants. “Yeah. Of course.”

Like this, they were the same height, so Sora only had to lean forwards a little to bring their lips together. At the touch, the nervous ball of tension in Riku’s stomach unknotted just a little bit. He exhaled shakily against Sora’s lips. It was easy, forgetting everything else while Sora kissed him. It was slow, careful, their lips curving against each other as Riku had already gotten so familiar with over the past week. Sora’s hands slipped underneath his jacket, fingers twisting into his t-shirt against the small of his back.

Riku made a little encouraging sound, and both of them just…melted into each other. It was comforting and soothing. Familiar, and yet there was a hint of shyness in both of them that hadn’t been there since their first night of kisses, when everything was new and overwhelming.

Sora made a soft sound, almost a whimper, and when he opened his mouth, Riku could taste the spice of the curry and the chocolate brownie they’d had for dessert. The kiss was still slow, but when their tongues brushed, it sparked something inside of Riku that he’d managed to keep buried during the previous times they’d made out. He tried to push it back down again—he didn’t want to make Sora uncomfortable in any way, but it was difficult, with the way Sora was shifting in his lap. The tingle in his groin was still faint, but unmistakable.

So he pulled back, opening his eyes as he rested his forehead against Sora’s. When Sora’s eyes flickered open as well, he was pouting a little.

“Why’d you stop?”

Riku flushed, searching Sora’s eyes, helpless to stop the little leap of his heart at the way they had darkened. Too embarrassed to tell Sora the real reason he’d stopped, he tightened his hand splayed between Sora’s shoulder blades for a moment before exhaling slowly. “Should we go to bed?”

Being in bed probably wouldn’t stop any feelings of arousal, but at least Riku could find a position where Sora wouldn’t be able to notice.

“Oh, yeah,” Sora agreed readily. “I guess the floor is kinda uncomfortable for you, huh?”

Riku didn’t say that he didn’t really care about that and instead gently pushed Sora off his lap so he could make his way into the bathroom. Sora skipped in next to him, bouncing on his feet as they brushed their teeth. It didn’t do a single thing to calm Riku down, but at least the way they grinned bashfully at each other in the mirror made his breathing settle down a little.

Riku waited until Sora left the bathroom to change into shorts and his sleep shirt, before joining Sora in Riku’s bed. The bed—which had become _their_ bed by now—was barely big enough for both of them to lie down on their sides facing each other. Though the lights in the room had been turned off, the magical glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling still let them see each other clearly. To distract himself from the way he could feel the heat coming off Sora even when they weren’t touching, Riku tried to listen to the sounds of the crickets outside.

But when Sora sighed again and slowly scooched closer, looking at him with wide, dark eyes, not even the crickets could distract Riku anymore.

He kissed Sora, foregoing any pretense of distraction. This kiss tasted of toothpaste, but Sora’s mouth was just as warm and slick as before. Sora made a low sound in his throat, something between a laugh and a moan, and at the first brush of tongue, the beginnings of that familiar tingle sparked in Riku’s gut. Even though the kiss started out slow and languid, there was a hint of desperation in the way Sora shifted closer to him, sliding an arm over Riku’s chest and softly saying Riku’s name.

The next thing Riku knew, Sora slid one of his legs between Riku’s.

_Oh_.

He tried to warn Sora, to say that if he just wanted to kiss, it would be difficult to keep it at just _kissing_ like this, but Sora cut him off with another press of lips. Propping himself up on one elbow, he could apply a little more pressure against Riku’s mouth, and the kiss turned deeper, more reckless. And then, both because the progression made sense and because Riku’s sense of self-preservation had already flown out the window and into the night sky, Riku slid his hand down lower across Sora’s back. His hips jerked forward out of their own accord.

Sora moaned. “Do… Do that again. _Please_.”

“Sora, I…” Riku pulled away just enough to breathe, because there was a line here, one he was accurately aware of, and he _wanted_ to cross it, but more than that he wanted Sora to want to cross it too. “We should… If you don’t want to go further, we should…”

“But I want to,” Sora said quickly, rolling over a little so he was half on top of Riku, the friction between their bodies hot and so very, very nice. “Before, I thought you didn’t, but if you do, then…”

“But you said…” Riku replied, forcing his hazy thoughts back to their earlier conversation. “You said you wanted to wait.”

Sora blinked, his hand stilling against the nape of Riku’s neck. Even in the dim light, Riku could see his face was flushed, all the way down to underneath the collar of his t-shirt. “Oh. I thought… You looked uncomfortable, so I thought I would…reassure you that we didn't have to do it _now_. Whatever you want, Riku, it’s all good. Just say stop, and I’ll stop, okay?”

_Oh_ , Riku thought again, because that information changed everything. His hand started moving in little circles at the small of Sora’s back, and Sora’s eyes slipped closed for a moment as his breathing quickened. 

“I want,” Riku said softly. “I want more than just kissing…” 

“Maybe you can…” Sora murmured, lowering his head so he could bury his face in the crook of Riku’s neck. It was intimate in a way that none of their kisses so far had been. “Move your hand…lower?”

Riku choked on his next breath. Sora’s thigh was between his legs, and Riku could _feel_ him, hot and half-hard against his hip. Slowly, Riku’s heart pounding frantically against his ribcage, he moved his left hand lower, sliding over the curve of Sora’s rear. With Sora on top of him now, he had his other arm free as well, so he brought it around too, both of his hands firmly against Sora’s ass.

“Yes,” Sora all but moaned. “Like that.”

Sora’s hands buried themselves in Riku’s hair, his fingers brushing against Riku’s scalp in a way that shouldn’t have been as hot as it was. The touch burned into Riku’s skin, sending tingles down to the length of his spine. When Sora rocked his hips down, Riku couldn’t hold back his moan.

He tugged Sora against him as they settled into a rhythm, Sora pressing little kisses to his neck, slowly moving to his throat. They were light brushes, but they turned Riku on like nothing before, Sora’s warm and soft lips brushing over soft and sensitive spots, his hips rolling into Riku’s insistently. Riku could feel himself growing hard, but instead of embarrassment, he just felt…a bone-deep arousal. It was different from the pleasure he’d felt when he and Sora had kissed before; it was deeper, more intense, more purposeful.

The rollercoaster had started its descent, and there was no end in sight yet. The feeling was thrilling and so nice, the way his stomach lurched with every rock of Sora’s hips. Riku could feel himself unraveling even now, knowing that if they kept this up, he’d probably be able to come just like this. Beyond almost all rational thought, he let his hands start to wander, one upwards into the dip of Sora's spine, the other sliding into Sora’s hair. Sora gasped against his throat, shivering as he stilled his hips.

Riku didn’t know where he got the courage from, but Sora seemed to like his touching, and he was so _warm_ , even through his shirt. He would probably be even warmer underneath his shirt, and Riku wanted to _feel_ that. So he slipped his hand down again, toying for a second with the hem of the cotton, silently asking for permission.

Sora shivered again, gave another roll of his hips, making a breathy sigh escape Riku’s lips.

“Yes,” Sora said, and that was all Riku needed to hear. He slipped his hand underneath Sora’s shirt, over all that smooth, warm skin. Sora had stopped kissing him, just panting harshly with his face pressed into the pillow next to Riku’s ear now.

“Okay?” Riku asked.

In reply, Sora exhaled shakily. He must be nodding, judging by the way his bangs tickled against Riku’s cheek. Then he pushed himself into a seated position, his hands on the mattress by Riku’s shoulders. He was a mess—his hair sticking in every direction and his eyes wide and dark, his lips a little puffy and parted as he breathed hard.

“Shirt off?” he asked, and Riku wasn’t sure if he was talking about Riku’s shirt or his own, but either was fine, so the answer was the same.

“Yeah,” Riku replied, wincing a little at how deep and breathless his voice came out. 

Sora reached down and tugged off his shirt in one graceful gesture. It ended up somewhere on the floor, but for a change, Riku couldn’t care less. He held Sora’s gaze for long moments, his hands coming to rest just above the waistband on Sora’s narrow hips. He was afraid to drop his gaze any lower. Even though Sora had clearly taken his shirt off with the intention of Riku being able to look at him, it was—for the moment—already too much just _touching_ him.

Then Sora’s hands came to rest on Riku’s waist, rubbing little circles into the fabric of his shirt and sending rekindled flashes of desire into him, seeping from his skin right down between his legs. Riku was hard now, and he felt himself twitch a little in his shorts. It was that sensation that made him finally drop his eyes, roaming over Sora’s chest, his small nipples, the hint of abdominal muscles quivering a little under taut skin. His gaze dropped further down, still, to where Sora’s shorts were also obviously tented.

If Riku’s brain wasn’t short-circuited before, the sight of Sora aroused, combined with the feeling of his hot skin under his fingers, definitely did the trick.

“You too?” Sora asked in a low whisper, his desire obvious in his voice.

Riku nodded, not trusting himself to speak. It was agony, having to let go of Sora, and the idea of taking off his own shirt was a little scary, but he realized it was only fair. He sat up a little and slowly reached for the hem on his shirt, locking eyes with Sora again before the movement of shirt removal broke their eye contact for a second. When the shirt was gone, discarded in the same direction as Sora’s, Sora looked at him for long moments. His mouth was open and his chest was heaving a little with every breath as his eyes roamed over Riku’s chest and stomach.

Then Sora lowered himself back down.

Riku was completely unprepared for the feeling of skin on skin. It was overwhelming, even more so than the idea that Sora was also turned on and very much willing to _do_ this. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d hugged Sora when they were both shirtless. It must have been over ten years ago, and Riku was positive nothing had ever felt as good as this felt now.

Sora’s skin was burning hot, and as usual, he was unable to keep still, squirming a little against Riku. Something deep inside Riku could not be contained, spreading throughout him and making him feel warm all over, his skin hypersensitive, his heart a rapid drum in his ears. Sora clung to him just as tightly as Riku clung to him, sweaty hands roaming against arms and backs, exploring all this bare skin, their legs slotting together so their hips were pressed as close as possible.

It was perfect like this—Sora’s solid weight pressing him into the mattress, their chests brushing as Sora gently started to move his hips against Riku again, Riku’s hands soothing up and down his back. Riku thought he’d be nervous, but somehow, everything about this was just the way it was supposed to be. It was slow enough not to be overwhelming, but not too slow. It was warm and soft and intimate, and every roll of Sora’s hips, every slide of skin on skin, heightened something deep inside him. He breathed out Sora’s name, panting open-mouthed until Sora turned his head to kiss Riku again, a little frantic and a little demanding.

It was leagues beyond every fantasy Riku had ever had. 

“Riku…” 

The open-mouthed kiss turned him on even more, arousal surging through him, throbbing and insistent between his legs, but it was all right, because he knew Sora felt the same. They were in this together. That thought made Riku raise his hips in return, and Sora moaned, breaking the kiss to gasp for air. Only a second later they were kissing again, Riku gently biting Sora’s bottom lip and feeling the way Sora shuddered at the sensation. One of Riku’s hands buried itself in Sora’s hair, gently tilting his head to make the kiss deeper, even hungrier. 

Neither of them would probably last long, judging by the way Sora’s rhythm had sped up and he was making little pleading noises in the back of his throat. Even rubbing against each other through their shorts was perfect, and Riku could feel himself sliding towards the edge already.

“Sora,” he whispered hoarsely, cupping Sora’s jaw with both hands to put an inch or two between them. “What do… What do you want?”

“Hng—?” Sora struggled to focus on Riku’s face, pouting, moving his hips a little against Riku even now. “Wh-what do—ah—you mean?”

Riku could feel his cheeks and ears heat up even more, and he hoped Sora wasn’t able to see it in the dim light. Then he realized—it was okay if Sora saw. Sora would probably like it, take pride in it, the same way Riku took pride in the fact that Sora was moaning and trembling a little against him, his hips finally stilling.

“You wanna just…” Riku exhaled, his gaze dropping to Sora’s parted lips, then back up again. “Like this?”

“Oh,” Sora said. Riku felt Sora’s thighs trembling against him with the effort it took Sora to try and remain still. His voice was even softer when he continued. “What do _you_ want?”

Riku honestly didn’t care. Anything and everything, whatever Sora wanted. That seemed a bit stupid to say though, so he pretended to think for a second.

“Your hand?”

Sora nodded eagerly. He rolled off Riku, lying on his left side again with one leg still slung over Riku’s hips, keeping them close together. Riku reached out to curl a hand against his waist as Sora trailed one hand down Riku’s back, over the muscles that tensed and then relaxed under his touch. Riku couldn’t suppress his full-body shiver, static running up and down his spine like a live wire. Sora brought his hand to Riku’s stomach, against the sweat-slick skin there, slowly moving down towards the waistband of his shorts and briefs underneath.

Riku’s eyes flickered shut, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Sora hadn’t even touched him, yet already he was overcome. He felt himself twitch in his shorts in anticipation.

“Riku…” Sora whispered, voice full of awe and thick with arousal. “Look at me?”

Swallowing heavily against his dry throat, Riku squeezed his eyes shut for a second as Sora’s fingers dipped lower, but then he managed to pry them open again. Sora was close, so close that Riku went a little cross-eyed trying to focus on his face.

“Are you scared?”

Riku bit his lip, shook his head. Not _scared_ , not really. He knew what fear felt like, and this wasn’t it. There was a rock of anxiety in his stomach and his heart was pounding a staccato rhythm against his rib cage, but it wasn’t _fear_ he was feeling.

“I’m gonna…touch you now, okay?” Sora’s voice was almost unrecognizable with how low-pitched it was.

“O—” Riku cut himself off to bite down the moan threatening to rise in his throat. “Okay.”

And then Sora’s right hand was _inside_ his shorts, his other hand pulling back the fabric to take him in hand properly. Instantly, every thought inside Riku’s mind came to a grinding halt. He inhaled sharply, desperately drawing air into his lungs to stop the way his mind was spinning in place, without direction or reason.

He watched as Sora brought his hand back up, spit in it, then touched Riku’s cock again, the touch slicker this time.

“Alright?” Sora asked, pupils so wide his eyes were almost dark. 

“Yeah. It’s…good. Can you…” Riku paused to bite back another moan at the way Sora’s thumb caught underneath the head. “Tighter?” 

Sora’s fingers squeezed a little harder, and ohhhh, that was good. A million times better than when Riku did this to himself. Sora started moving his hand up and down, slippery with spit and a little sweat and the first beads of precum that spilled from Riku. It was hard to keep his eyes open but worth it to see the focused, intent look on Sora’s face, the way he looked at Riku, amazement and determination and arousal flickering across his face.

Suddenly, Riku knew what would make this moment even better.

“Can I touch you too?”

He felt Sora shudder against him at the question, which was probably answer enough. Still, Riku waited until Sora collected himself and gasped out a breathy, “Yes. Please.”

He licked his right palm wetly, then mirrored Sora’s movements from earlier, fingers brushing over Sora’s bare stomach, which was rising and falling rapidly with each shallow breath he took. Slipping his hand lower, Riku tentatively reached inside Sora’s shorts. There was the wet feeling of Sora’s precum against Riku’s hand, and the sound of Sora’s strangled gasp as he felt Sora’s cock throb in his grip. The feeling was not so very different from his own, hot and silky soft skin over the hardness underneath.

Sora had paused his hand, so Riku thrust his hips forward minutely, unable to keep still, chasing the friction and the pleasure building inside him, the heat pooling at the base of his spine. The movement spurred Sora back into action, and his hips jerked into Riku’s touch as he started to move his hand again.

“S-Sora…” 

It was hard keeping his eyes open, but Sora kept them open as well, so Riku tried. Not to mention it was also just…really very hot to look at him. His messy, sweaty bangs, his open mouth, his pink skin. The wet noises of their hands and both of their hitching breaths filled the air. All of it made Riku’s skin prickle in the very best way.

“Riku—” Sora cut himself off with a strangled moan, the sound going straight to Riku’s cock. “I’m not gonna last, I’m— _oh_ —close…”

“Yes,” Riku rasped, tightening his grip as he moved his hand faster. “Come on, Sora.”

“Ahhh.” Sora’s breath hitched, and his head tipped forward, down against Riku’s collarbone, breath hot and damp and ticking Riku’s skin. Sora’s hand had stopped again, but Riku found he didn’t really mind. He wanted to see and feel Sora come undone; everything else was secondary, including his own pleasure.

Riku listened to Sora’s sounds, figuring out the right speed from the way Sora’s moans picked up. Sora seemed beyond words, unable to say what he wanted, so Riku paid extra attention to all his reactions. He was moaning a mixture of curse words and Riku’s name, intelligible babbling noises that got louder as Sora snapped his hips forward into Riku’s hand, shoving them skin to skin again.

It was only a few more moments of this before Riku felt Sora tense all over, back arching and cock pulsing in Riku’s hand as hot wetness spilled between them, over his fingers, his stomach, and the sheets. Sora’s hips stuttered, and his legs spasmed as he let out little whimpers in time with the waves of his orgasm. The sensation of it, the very _idea_ that Sora was coming next to him, _because_ of him, drove Riku right up to the edge as well. Not enough to tumble over, but he felt the tell-tale tingle in his hips, the fire flooding underneath his skin as his brain stopped functioning completely.

Sora weakly rolled his hips with every surge, and Riku still had the clarity of mind to gently stroke him through his orgasm, listening to his loud breathing, feeling the tension flow out of him as he relaxed in the aftermath. Their chests caught together on every rise and fall of their shallow breathing.

Sora’s fingers were trembling where they were still gripping Riku’s cock weakly, twitching a little as his body jerked with an aftershock. The sensation made Riku hiss, and his eyes slipped closed against the myriad of emotions swirling in his chest.

Apparently, Sora didn’t need much time to recover, because it was only a few heartbeats later when he squeezed his hand around Riku again. Riku wrapped both his arms around Sora, tugging them as close together as was possible in their current position, still on their sides with Sora’s hand between his legs.

“You too,” Sora sighed in a raspy whisper, breath hot against Riku’s lips. “I wanna see you come.”

“S-Sora,” Riku stammered again, hips twitching as Sora increased his rhythm.

It was easy, the way his body came undone under Sora’s touch. Everything dissolved into pleasure, cutting into static as white lights flashed behind his eyelids. He was _so close_ , right on the edge for what felt like long moments as Sora twisted his wrist, swiping a thumb over the head, and then Riku was gone. His hips jerked in pleasure as he heard Sora whisper softly between them, the words unintelligible over the way his pulse roared in his ears.

The tension inside him uncoiled, releasing with every jerk of his hips, every slow stroke of Sora’s hands, until he went completely limp against Sora, breathing hard into his hair. Slowly, the world came back to him, one sensation at a time. The faint smell of orange, the harsh sound of both their inhales and exhales, the lingering tingling feeling between his legs.

Sora’s voice, muffled, but now once again audible. “That was…amazing, Riku.”

When the world had stopped spinning enough, Riku pulled back a little, for the moment ignoring the sticky mess between them. Sora’s eyes were wide and he was smiling brightly. Riku slowly let his own lips curl into a smile as well.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “Yeah, it was.”

Riku hugged Sora close, heedless of how they were both sweaty and disgusting. Sora giggled, squirming in his arms as he rolled them over again, pressing Riku back down into the mattress.

“You know, I was making a big deal over these first times, but I just realized… First times are great and everything, but it’s even better knowing we’ll get to do this like…a million times more.”

Riku’s stomach gave a pleasant lurch. It wasn’t really a surprise, but hearing Sora say those words, knowing there would hopefully be many more times to come… All the things there were still to discover about Sora’s body, every sound he could make, every spot that would make him sigh or moan… All the ways Riku could make him come…

“We’re both really gross,” Sora laughed, even as he wriggled, making the mess even bigger. 

“We should clean up, yes,” Riku said, but he made no move to reach for the tissues on the nightstand, and neither did Sora, who just sighed happily against Riku’s throat.

“I love you,” Sora whispered. “I love you so much.”

Riku didn’t even have to think before he said the words back, his entire being the most relaxed he’d probably ever been. “I love you too. I would give you _anything_.”

“Good,” Sora said, his voice taking on a teasing tone. “You can start by getting a washcloth to clean us both up.”

Riku groaned, clinging tighter to Sora instead, until Sora wiggled himself out of his embrace, laughing as he pushed Riku off the bed.

“Go, shoo.”

“Fine, fine,” Riku mumbled, stumbling over towards the bathroom on slightly wobbly legs. When he came back, Sora was sprawled out like a starfish, beaming up at him so brightly that Riku couldn’t help but shake his head and smile back. “You’re impossible.”

Sora nodded with a little smirk. “Yup!”

With both of them as clean as they would get, they put on their shirts again and curled around each other underneath the covers. Sora gave a final shuddery breath before he was out like a light. 

Riku lingered on the edge of sleep for a moment longer, his thoughts drifting to all the second and third and millionth times that were hopefully still to come. All the kisses, all the times they would get naked together, all the times they’d have sex. The valentines they would make, all the times he would tell Sora ‘I love you.’ Maybe, sometime far into the future, a real marriage with a real ring.

He fell asleep with a smile on his face, basking in both the dawning comfort and the thrill the idea of that future with Sora brought.


End file.
